Monday, November 23, 2009

Mama Mia, Multo Tormento!





So I tattooed Beth's chef from work (Fabio)  today. It took like 4 hours! Actually it was the second 'stab' at it to clean up my feeble first attempt and also add color. I still have to color in the island and that mutant little star that indicates where Fabio was born on the island of Sardinia. This shit is hard to do, man. Of course this is my second tattoo ever so I'm not being too hard on myself. Even so, better him then me.
'Soi Sardu' means 'I am from Sardinia'.
The island shape, cross, and decapitated heads are the actual flag. Fabio wanted the wreath and I came up with the wave like blades. Apparently some uppity arabs (Moors) attempted to take over the island years ago but these crazy waps cut the heads off of four  warlords and posted them on the corners of the island as a warning. This tattoo should do well in Baltimore.
How's the wiener mobile?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Bitter Boy

"I'm not bitter, I'm an artist!
Reminds me of when I was in France and, in response to a french friend calling me out on a cheerful beer fueled rant, I triumphantly exclaimed:
"I'm not drunk, I'm an american!"
So put on a pot of coffee and gather the wife and kids and I will post.
 You know, it's true that adulthood brings on a keener sense for the sour and bitter regions of the papillae.
Before I explain the temporary blunder of actually worrying about my life, however,  I must comment on the troubling amount of hair that you put around the pumpkin hole. A whole new meaning to the term JACK-o- lantern (too easy). They're not supposed to be that terrifying, Charley.. I have my suspicion that it was summarily rejected from the carving contest and so you grabbed it out of your car trunk real quick to snap the photo before security realized you hadn't left.

On second thought, put the kids to bed.
          
Now, back to my demoralized and wanton morass of self pity. I should like to start with a touching, even poignant moment that greeted me this morning, which sort of says it all.


                                
Every morning, my dogs leave me something. Usually it is a bill or other important piece of paper ( I continually forget NOT to leave out) that has been shredded and chewed into bits. This is often the work of my 110 lb Akita boy. He could chew a dining room table into vapor but prefers (thank god) to make  spit balls by working each little tab of paper, say, from a Jury Duty notice, vigorously with his front teeth, until it resembles a grain of rice. He did once chew the top of the couch off along with the blinds of the window behind it, in an effort to gnaw his way to the backyard in order to take a shit. I didn't have the heart to be mad at such a heroic effort to be a "Good Boy".
 My two girls ('dogs', dear future, anonymous reader) like to 'suck' on any socks or 'shoes' they can get a hold of. They have come to understand that to chew a hole in the master's footwear is a very bad thing so they literally steal stuff and sort of, well, suck on it.
The above picture is as appropriatley out of focus as my naked eyes are in the dawn's early light. That is my lunch money (and coincidentally, my life savings) marking the exact spots where there had been a series of small turds. Notice the elegant arcing turn, as the beast attempted to negotiate a table. I would need to return to these spots momentarily with an enzyme solution that could neutralize the imbedded remnants of the offense.
What is my point, anyways? Truly, I've forgotten....o, yeah... by marking it with my lunch money I would be able to deliver the solution to each exact spot and not waste any.
This, my dear friend, is my life.
And yet....but in a single, fleeting romance, I could lose all of my sorrows with that pumpkin of yours.
By the way, is that the same hole for putting the drinks in first?

New Subject:


I dug up the original "Fuck the Race" for your viewing pleasure. This t-shirt is now 20 yrs old. The age I was when I made it. The original, original was a doodle I left on a note on the fridge at Sentry Hill explaining that i had to go away for the weekend to my Aunt's wedding.

I disagree about the image we should use, even though I almost weep with nostalgia at the sight of those two little fellas..
It needs to be simpler, more iconic like I suggested over the phone. I will send you a $138,395,032  idea shortly and then you can post a note telling me I'm wrong.

While I was rooting around in the basement for the shirt, I found another little treasure in an old NYC journal.
I blame him for everything.










Thursday, November 12, 2009

Great Idea!


My boy is sick today so I am at home with him.  Work at the winery is ending sometime next week and I am psyched to move on.  Perhaps in this direction:

I think we should open an etsy shop and recall the fuck the race t shirts.  We could lay them up on shirts we get at the good will by the pound.  Green and funky.  Like my toe jam.  The etsy shop (ETSY.com) could be a fun extension of Pan's Peter.  And and any extension of any Peter is a good thing, right?  What say ye?  It is free.
Only hitch is that if orders come in we will have a cross country scramble to make them.  I am thinking just a black line drawing like the original, but each shirt will be different.  Easy, right?  and the way I figure, if it costs us $2.00 per shirt and we sell them for $10 and we sold 34,598,758 shirts, we could stand to make $276,790,064.  That is $138,395,032 each in one year!  I bet you could get Beth to marry you then.  Shit, you could buy your own fire department and be the chief!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Here's my post, on Thursday, which is named after Thor, who I wished I was.

I visited the MOG site that you are supposed to represent with a "tricked out" wiener-like mobile.  The site grabbed my attention for about 10 seconds. If it's not about me or someone I know by pheromone, then I can hardly give a shit anymore. I guess I'm just really, really sick of everything, especially the next generation and the wave of advertising it spawns, I barely survived the machine that stuck it's fangs in the X'ers.... as if I ever bought anything because of an add....As if I ever bought anything at all that wasn't just to go in my mouth.....(I know, I know...what the F is he talkin' about?)
I will say this, though, it looked very well designed, very youthful, and full of more, more, more.

One thing I definitely care about is OUR ever"verging" careers and you have come up with yet another ridiculously fun and daunting sounding project. Too bad it's all going to turn to shit.(shhhh.....I'm using double psychology on the gods )
Your choice of sub-vehicle (the Unimog) may be problematic though, in that, although it appears to be able to drive over several of its's selves in a row,  it also appears to get 3 gallons to the mile and is probably a nightmare to fix (not good for all the commuting it's supposed to do). Now, I know your all Twin Barrelled up and want to kick the world in the head with a giant pair of balls on wheels.
The only icon I can find on their sight is  red Target-looking headphones (there's your "Balls" actually) or that fat little red circle that shows up in the address bar (again, very close to Target's icon).. Make those big red headphones or "Balls"  and slap some wheels on it. Big f'ing Unimog wheels! I don't envy the task actually but I know you'll come up with something.Oh, and $30 grand to do it..?.... and road legal? That just pisses me off.
I've much more to say about everything but I forgot to eat today .
Please visit  The Baker Artist Awards ( again already) and vote for my pauper ass!  Something good has got to give eventually, besides not dying on a daily basis. What the fuck were we given all this talent for anyways? I feel a rant coming on and it really is mostly due to a craving for pizza or a pacifier or a cigarette or the ability to fly.
Below is the link:http://www.bakerartistawards.org/nomination/view/christopher_ruppert/2610
Wise cracks and sundry feedback expected.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

where is my Sunday blog entry?

Where is your Sunday blog entry, ya chimpanzee?

I have been trying to line up work for myself when the luxury of completely busting my ass for 70 hours per week at the blinding rate of $13/hr evaporates next week.  I am sending a proposal to a guy who wants a tricked out marketing vehicle for his music/social website called MOG.  I went to UVM with the guy who started the company.  I am very excited about it.  He said he has a budget of 30K.  I am currently trying to grow a quick set of big balls so I can ask him to bump the budget up to 150K.
He wants a vehicle that will be driven by a couple of hotties to college campuses and festivals etc.  He wants it to be as crazy as the Oscar Mayer Weiner car!  I heard he was looking for someone to do this so I contacted him.  He told me that some dudes in Oakland were going to do it.  (they are a S.F. company.)
I emailed him and said those clowns from oakland were going to make him a float.  I'll give him an icon!!!
He called me the next day and said, "Charley, I want an icon."


So this could be fun.  My brains are a twitter.  I have a great crew I can draw from here to get this done.  I hope I get it.  I have to send a proposal of sorts on Monday.
I think it would make sense for us to start with a Mercedes Unimog.  Have you ever seen one of these guys?  They come in all shapes and sizes and I bet I could find one that I could transform into an icon.  Here is a video of one that some rednecks got a hold of: